


Somewhere To Begin

by parallelanprincess, Vixen13



Category: Overlord - Maruyama Kugane & Related Fandoms
Genre: Ainz is Human, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Male Character, F/M, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, Kissing, Light Angst, Lust, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Mutual Pining, Not Canon Compliant, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Suicidal Thoughts, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2020-12-24 07:44:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21095894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parallelanprincess/pseuds/parallelanprincess, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vixen13/pseuds/Vixen13
Summary: Satoru Suzuki finds himself transplanted into a new world that is neither YGGDRASIL or the dystopian hellscape of the real world. His avatar has been replaced with a fragile human body that's going to take some time adjusting to this new land. Albedo and Demiurge are more than happy to take on the dual responsibilities of his lovers and right hand demons. They're going to make sure Satoru never feels abandoned ever again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Listen  
Listen to me
> 
> In the Light Novels, Momonga's real name is Satoru Suzuki. So the prose will refer to him as a Satoru don't @ me.  
I binged all three seasons of Overlord in a week. Because Albedo is a yandere bae and I just want her to get some dick. So I made Ainz human. Because fanfiction is all about fixing canon. So yes this will be the hurt/comfort fic I need in these trying times.
> 
> Please comment if you like it this took a long time T.T

Satoru Suzuki was alone. He really should have been used to that by now. On the final day of the popular DMMORPG YGGDRASIL he was the sole player on the Thor server. None of his old guildmates had responded to his event invites to meet up in the Tomb of Nazarick. It was the end of a glorious era and no one else cared. This is what happened when you hoped for the best. What had he expected? It had been years since he last spoke with any of the other 41 members of Ainz Ooal Gown. Herohero promised to at least drop by for an hour before deciding that the allure of overtime pay was more important than saying goodbye to the home he and his friends built with their blood, sweat, and tears. Since it appeared his companions had truly abandoned him for good, it fell to Guild Master Momonga to go down with the ship.

How long had it been since he was last referred to by his rank or username? The servers had been getting less active over the last three years. Usually the Thor server had a few dozen active users spread out across the map. When the news hit that YGGDRASIL was closing up shop permanently, many players simply deleted their accounts and moved on. Satoru was far too attached to his avatar to delete the Overlord Lich he spent years grinding and customizing to perfection. The admins would have to delete it their damn selves once the servers shut off for good.

“I’ve got a few minutes left. Better say my goodbyes to this place,” Satoru said to the empty meeting room. He sighed and made his way to the display case of the Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown. An ungodly amount of time and money was spent crafting the weapon that symbolized the most powerful guild in the entire game. Now it was like him, a forgotten relic left to waste away in the ashes of all they built together. Satoru reminded himself that his emo phase was over a decade ago and self pity never solved anything.

He walked down the corridor that lead to the throne room. If he was going to go out, he wanted to go out feeling like the badass guild master he was destined to be. He was a bit shocked to find the NPC battle maids and butler waiting at the door to the throne room. They were meant to be the guild’s last line of defense yet no player ever managed to get that far. Come to think of it, he hadn’t been this far into the tomb in a while. Most of his time had been desperately searching for someone to PVP with or maintaining to the tomb to prevent it from falling into ruin with each new update and patch. Satoru felt guilty he didn’t even remember their names. He vaguely recalled the maids being named after some sort of star cluster or something. Like all NPCs they had been tailor maid to their creator’s unique tastes. Satoru always felt that the NPCs were reflections of his guildmates kinks but he was too shy to ever ask openly.

“What was the follow command? <Onward!>” Satoru commanded.

Nothing happened.

“Huh? Guess it was <Follow Me!>”

The NPCs got into a neat line and began to follow him like a line of ducklings. He supposed he was a den mother considering all the other players left their precious creations to go to waste. Not that Satoru was one to talk. He vaguely remembered leaving his NPC, Pandora’s Actor, in the treasury ages ago.

Inside the throne room he found his guildmate Tabula’s greatest creation, Albedo the Overseer of the Guardians. When she was first made, Satoru felt a bit infatuated with her before realizing that crushing on a video game character was the lowest of the low. The only other denizen of Nazarick that made Satoru desperately wish that YGGDRASIL had a dating sim spinoff was Ulbert’s NPC Demiurge. An angel and a devil straight out of his dreams and neither were real. Satoru was sure Ulbert and Tabula would have PVP’ed him on the spot if they’d known his interest went beyond admiring their handcraft. Whatever. It was 2138. If some of his comrades found insects and robots hot, Satoru was allowed to like virtual boobs and crotch bulges.

Satoru took a seat on the throne of Nazarick and wondered why he didn’t do this more often. The flags bearing the emblems of the original nine members hung from the rafters collecting virtual dust. What a waste. He looked at Albedo in her digital beauty, her gentle smile warmed his heart. Out of curiosity Satoru opened up her settings to see what kind of elaborate backstory Tabula gave her.

“God, this is an entire essay. Tabula always did go above and beyond.” Satoru skipped to the bottom of the thirty page essay Tabula had written. “What? ‘She’s a bitch.’ Tabula, give me a break. Well, I don’t think he’ll mind if I make a little change.”

Satoru erased the last line of Albedo’s settings. This was definitely going to be cringe worthy but no one else was around to see.

“ <She is deeply in love with Momonga> That should do it. As if a woman like her would give me a second glance. I don’t have any luck with women IRL and this place was no different,” he sighed.

He looked at the in-game clock to see that there were less than three minutes to midnight. The end had finally come. There was nothing to look forward to in the morning. He would get up in four hours, take his nutrition pills, don his gas mask and walk the polluted streets until he reached his soul sucking job as a factory worker. In Satoru’s opinion, the world had ended decades ago when corporations had taken on the role of governments and turned the planet into a desolate wasteland of poverty, pollution, and hopelessness. Why would anyone give up the beautiful world of YGGDRASIL for that? Satoru knew some of them had friends and families outside of the game. He had nothing. No one.

“<Bow Down>” Satoru commanded. The NPCs bowed in fealty. “Goodbye, old friends. You served us well.”

The clock was counting down the last ten seconds to midnight. He supposed that he would automatically be logged out. At exactly midnight the user interface and menus completely disappeared. Satoru closed his eyes at the screen began to grow dark. It was fun while it lasted.

He waited for the familiar bell notification indicating he had signed off. After a few moments he opened his eyes when nothing happened. He was still in the throne room of the tomb. Did the developers extend the server shutdown? He raised his hand to see if he could contact a GM or admin.

  
“What in the actual fuck?” Satoru’s hand was no longer the bones of an undead Overlord. Instead it was his regular flesh and blood hand complete with chewed off fingernails. He was still wearing the giant robes of his avatar but it appeared that his skeletal appearance had been replaced with his actual body. “Is this a glitch or a dummied out feature? Why can’t I call anyone? Where the hell is my avatar?”

Satoru took a deep breath. He needed to calm down. There was a logical explanation for everything. He probably fell asleep with his headset on. He just had to unjack the neural feed from his neck and take slip his headset off. He reached back to his neck and didn’t feel the neural plug. In fact, the back of his neck was completely smooth. He tried removing the headset. All he succeeded in doing was pushing off his hood and messing up his hair.

“What kind of old school isekai anime bullshit is this?!” Satoru yelled.

“Lord Momonga are you alright?” Albedo was looking at him with terror in her eyes. Albedo was talking to him. Her mouth was moving. What. The. Fuck..

“Albedo, are you actually talking to me?” Satoru asked.

She stood up from her bow to stand before him. She cautiously placed her hands on his shoulders. Satoru was getting a good look at those two mounds of pale flesh. Tabula said he made her a DDD cup but she was pushing an E cup easily. And she smelt so good! Albedo smelled like real flowers. Okay, either he was having a wet dream or he was trapped in a video game world like those retro anime from the last century.

“My lord? You look unwell. Please tell me! I’ll do anything to aid you. Whatever it takes, whatever you need!” Albedo sounded downright distraught. Her glowing yellow eyes were on the verge of tears. She was really, really close. He’d never been this physically close to anyone let alone a woman. There was only one way for him to figure out if this was real or not.

“Albedo, can you...can you do me a favor?”

“Yes, Lord Momonga! Give me any order and I shall obey without hesitation!”

“Will you kiss me?” God, he was such a goddamn creep. Shit like this was why his friends left him.

“Fuck, that was weird. I’m sorry I just-” Satoru began.

Albedo was kissing him as if her life depended on it. Her lips were so soft. She’d pulled his jaw open and her serpentlike tongue was exploring every inch of his mouth. Her other hand was slowly trailing down her chest. No way in Hell this was a dream. Not even an eroge could simulate this level of physical intimacy. Albedo pulled away when she noticed he wasn’t kissing her back.

“Did that not please you my lord? Should I try again?” Albedo asked.

“Nope. I’m good. You’re real. All of this is real. I spent half my life in YGGDRASIL and now I’m stuck here forever.”

It was at that point Satoru Suzuki realized he wasn’t alone. He would never be alone again. In the coming days he would learn many things about the new world he was now in and the NPCs his friend left behind. For now he was too busy fainting in shock while Albedo tried to shake some life into him. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just for a fun. Not serious. Just trying out new fandoms. Still I appreciate comments and kudos. Any feedback at all to know how I'm doing!

The Supreme Being Ulbert Alain Odle created Demiurge to be extremely adaptable. The seventh floor Guardian of the Tomb of Nazarick was made to always be one step ahead of his opponent, to never rule out any possibility no matter how absurd. Demiurge’s duty was to ensure that all of Nazarick’s defenses could withstand even the most powerful of enemies. He was supposed to be prepared for anything and everything. Unfortunately nothing could have prepared him for the pain of being abandoned by his creator. Demiurge was a demon by design, religion was not in his nature. Still, he secretly held out hope that is was all part of some divine plan the Supreme Beings had laid out before vanishing from the world. For years he had waited diligently for the day his creator returned.

Demiurge had known the end was coming. They all felt it in the fiber of their beings. The Great Tomb of Nazarick had slowly been fading away day after day. Their foothold in the world was slipping. Perhaps that is why the Supreme Beings fled and left them to their fates. Demiurge felt it would have been kinder for the Supreme Beings to simply “delete” them rather than allow their creations to languish.Only Lord Momonga remained. In His endless mercy only He was kind enough to stay with them until the bitter end. The Floor Guardians, the Pleiades, the legion of maids, and the hundreds of heteromorphs who called the tomb home could only stand idly by as they were plunged into the abyss. Demiurge waited for the end.

It did not come.

It was a shock but not entirely unwelcome.

Far as he could tell they had been transported to a new world. When and where was a mystery. Demiurge would have to convene with Albedo to decide how to proceed. Now that he was no longer confined to the seventh floor and able to move freely, he was eager to reunite with the Overseer of the Guardians. While Demiurge held all the other residents of the tomb in the highest respect, if he had a heart there would be a special place in for Albedo. Beautiful, deadly, and delightfully insane. Lord Tabula Smaragdina truly outdid Himself when he crafted Albedo.

Before Demiurge could summon his demon generals to survey the area outside of the tomb, he sensed someone trying to access the seventh floor. In His infinite wisdom Lord Ulbert had designed the seventh floor to be inaccessible to those without a Ring of Teleportation. Someone was trying to rip open a portal from another floor. Were they already being invaded? Was this some sort of test? Impossible. His fellow Guardians wouldn’t have so easily been defeated or bow down to some interloper. His visitor must have been another denizen of Nazarick. Demiurge cautiously lifted the wards guarding his domain.

“Enter,” Demiurge commanded. If someone was foolish enough to trek into Nazarick he would make rue the day they set foot into this sacred place.

“U-um, Demiurge? Are you in there? It’s really hot in here,” Mare called. The dark elf who guarded the sixth floor was every bit as adorable as Demiurge remembered. Poor thing wasn’t accustomed to the fiery inferno that was the seventh floor’s Blazing Temple. Demiurge’s domain must have felt cramped compared to the large coliseum that lay beneath the sixth floor’s endless night sky. Demiurge flew to where Mare was waiting.

“What brings you to my humble abode?” Demiurge asked.

“Albedo, told me to come straight here. It’s an emergency. When we vanished and came to this new place, Lord Momonga was in the throne room so he got teleported with us. Except he’s not a scary skeleton anymore. He looks like a regular human. But he can’t be right? He’s a Supreme Being and all,” Mare said. Mare was obviously looking to Demiurge for answers. Answers he wasn’t currently able to give.

Lord Momonga truly was gracious to follow them into whatever abyss their were transported to. A human Supreme Being? Impossible. Surely it was some side effect of this new world’s magic. Or perhaps He sacrificed his form in order to remain with them? Did the other Supreme Being ascend to prevent themselves from losing their powers? So many questions and not nearly enough time to answer them.

“Mare, where are Lord Momonga and Albedo now? What is his current status?”

“He’s in his room on the ninth floor with Albedo. He kinda...fainted. Neuronist is in there too making sure he’s okay since she’s the only one who knows about how humans work. Y-you don’t think Lord Momonga’s going to die, do you?” Mare asked. He looked absolutely frightened. Usually such a display of terror and anxiety delighted Demiurge but it pained him to see a fellow guardian in such distress. Demiurge was not made to show outward displays of affection so he settled for placing a reassuring hand on Mare’s shoulder.

“Come now, surely a Supreme Being wouldn’t perish so quickly and easily as a human. The fact that He remained with us shows that he foresaw the price he would have to pay. I know you’re frightened, Mare but try to be a bit more optimistic. Be a dear and teleport me to Lord Momonga so that I may tend to him,” Demiurge said. Mare didn’t look the slightest bit convinced. The dark elf was too timid to argue with him. Mare merely nodded and opened a new portal to the ninth floor.

The door to Lord Momonga’s bedroom was being guarded by the Pleiades. They bowed in deference to him. Most of them. Sebas only gave him a slight nod. Bastard. Demiurge fully expected them to step aside to give him access to Lord Momonga’s chamber. Sebas didn’t give the order, he only stared into Demiurge’s diamond eyes as if challenging his authority. So that’s the way things were going to be? A whole new world and the same childish power struggles. No matter. Sebas was merely a figurehead. The true power of the Pleiades rested with Yuri Alpha. They were the Six Sisters after all. Not the Six Sisters and some decrepit fool.

“Yuri Alpha, you’re looking lovely as always. I thank you for your diligence in ensuring our Lord is protected. Would you be so kind as to inform me of the status of Lord Momonga?,” Demiurge asked. The slightest hint of a blush appeared on the dullahan’s alabaster cheeks.

“Thank you, Demiurge. Neuronist has provided a full report on Lord Momonga’s condition. He appears to have a slight fever. He exhibits signs of fatigue, malnourishment, and dehydration,” Yuri said. The fact that their beloved Lich Overlord was now a human went unsaid. Demiurge saw Sebas’ fists tightening at his sides. The butler remained silent. Sebas chose his battles wisely indeed.

“I have no doubt Lord Momonga will make a full recovery. If you ladies would excuse me, I wish to speak with Him and Albedo to determine how we shall proceed now that we have been spared from oblivion,” Demiurge said.

“Of course,” Yuri replied. The Pleiades stepped aside, Sebas a bit less willingly.

“Do try not to exhaust Lord Momonga. He has enough to worry about as it is. I doubt he has time to deal with you and your petty ambitions,” Sebas said.

Demiurge didn’t bother to respond. Nothing got under Sebas’ skin quite like being overlooked. When Lord Touch Me finally ascended Sebas was nearly inconsolable. Sebas finally understood the sting of betrayal that haunted many of Nazarick’s denizens. Yes, they were all abandoned by those who gave them life. Demiurge would do everything in his power to keep Lord Momonga with them. Demiurge was willing to lay down his life if it meant that his family would have a strong leader to protect them in the years to come.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so first of all Vixen is the one true Supreme Being who betas and helps with ideas and l love them. Which is why they now have a co-author credit because I am only a fraction of a writer as the ruler of Spideypool. I did not imagine this reaction.
> 
> *laughs nervously*
> 
> What the fuck??
> 
> This was just something to do to pass time til I move. Yeah, I'm moving to a new country in a few days because Para is a mess. So thanks for all the subs, comments, and kudos. IT really, really gives me the confidence and encouragement I desperately thirst for. So yes please continue to comment because I always read and respond.
> 
> Damn this is getting long jfc
> 
> Bye

His Holiness Tabula Smaragdina created Albedo to be a study in contrasts. An angel corrupted by a monster, a housewife who hoarded filth, the undisputed leader of the Floor Guardians who was neither the smartest nor the strongest and so on. As Lord Tabula’s greatest creation Albedo should have loved her creator more than anything else in the world. Albedo hated Him. She hated the treacherous Lord Tabula and the other ilk that dared to call themselves Supreme Beings. What kind of Father brings a child into the world only to abandon it once He grew bored? Nazarick was nothing more than a toy chest for the Supreme Beings.They were simple dolls to be discarded. Albedo remembered the years she was forced to stand by as nothing more than a decoration as the guild of Ainz Ooal Gown didn’t spare her a second glance. Albedo and the Pleiades were nothing more than set dressing to make Nazarick “110% authentic with battlemaids and a sexy final boss” as Lord Tabula once said.

Albedo wasn’t one to wallow in self pity, she worried more about how the Supreme Beings desertion affected the Guardians. The Fiore twins were too young to understand what was happening. Victim was likely in hibernation. Albedo could care less about how that slutty vampire felt. If Albedo was able to move she would have nailed Shalltear’s coffin shut years ago. Albedo worried most about Demiurge, the fellow demon had been the only Guardian she believed to be her equal. Their interactions were few and far between during the golden age of the guild but Albedo remembered those times fondly. She and Demiurge were meant to protect the tomb from harm.Albedo looked forward to reuniting with him When she began to feel their world fading from existence. Even if their gods abandoned them and the world ended they would have each other. Oblivion isn’t so bad so long as you have someone to share it with.

She was certain that Lord Momonga would abandon them as well. To watch Him sit upon the throne, to stay with them as they were transported to another land was more than she could ever hope for. The guildmaster truly was the most noble of the Supreme Beings. However, it appeared that staying with them came at a terrible price. Lord Momonga’s glorious skeletal form was transformed into a weak human. He sacrificed his power and glorious body just to stay with them, to stay with her. He truly was merciful and generous. His first act upon becoming human was to bestow upon Albedo the Kiss of the Gods. Lord Momonga wanted Albedo to know that even in that puny body His love for her still rang true.

Now she sat on Lord Momonga’s bed with His head in her lap wondering how she would keep Him alive. Neuronist said He required rest and nourishment. Extraneous activity was forbidden as his body could not handle too much excitement. Albedo would have to wait many moons before she could offer the love of her life the honor of being her first. She gently caressed His face which earned her a smile.

“I wonder what’s taking Demiurge so long,” Lord Momonga said as He squirmed beneath the bedsheets. Albedo made sure to tuck Him in extra tight under several layers of blankets. As if on cue, Demiurge sauntered into the chamber. The sight of his signature smirk warmed Albedo’s heart in the same way Lord Momonga’s kiss had. How she had missed him during the years they were exiled to their floors. Demiurge dropped to a deep bow as a sign of fealty.

“My Lord Momonga, I am humbled to be in your presence. I am at your eternal service. I pledge myself to you mind, body, and soul. I-” Demiurge began.

“Enough! I mean, that’s quite enough Demiurge. I get the point. Thanks for coming,” Lord Momonga said.

“It is my deepest pleasure. How may I serve you?” Demiurge asked. The guardians’ diamond eyes may have been pointed at the floor but Albedo knew he had eyes for her love. They would have a discussion later.

“You can start by getting these sheets off of me.”

“At once, my Lord!” Demiurge’s tail was waving excitedly. Albedo reluctantly and gently eased her love’s head back onto the pillow. She gave Demiurge a warning look as he began to peel back the layers she had wrapped Lord Momonga in. He gave a short, imperceptible nod. Demiurge understood she had staked her claim. Good.

“Thanks, it was getting a little hot under there. I am absolutely starving. Do we have any nutrition pills or vitamin supplements around here?” Lord Momonga asked as he sat up and stretched. Albedo winced at the faint popping noises His joints made. What were these strange things He was requesting? Some sort of food that humans required for survival. Was He going to die if he didn’t receive the necessary pills and potions? How could Nazarick procure them?

“Unfortunately, we don’t have anything of the like currently available. I’d be more than happy to do research to find something that suits your appetites. Shall I have a feast prepared in your honor?”

“A feast?! Yes, we should definitely do that. Um but first we have more pressing matters to attend to. We still have no idea where we’ve ended up. Raise our defenses and send two of the Pleiades to scout the surrounding area. In two hours, summon the Floor Guardians to throne room so we can discuss their findings. In the meantime raise our defenses as well. No one gets in or out without one of you approving it. Now, go! Carry out my will!” Lord Momonga proclaimed.

“Yes, Lord Momonga!” Albedo and Demiurge bowed in unison. They silently competed to see who could bow deeper. Their heads were practically touching ground before their master loudly cleared his throat. They excused themselves once more before exiting the chamber.

“Solution, Lord Momonga wants you and Sebas to scout the surrounding area. Ten miles in each direction should suffice. Report your findings directly to Albedo. Narberal and Shizu, remain here to tend to our Lord. Have someone from the kitchens bring him food and drink immediately. As for the rest of you, resume your defensive positions on the ninth floor,” Demiruge instructed the Pleiades.

Albedo never cared for the Pleiades. She felt it unfair that the so called sisters were allowed to remain together at all times while the Floor Guardians were isolated in their individual domains. By bearing witness to Lord Momonga bestowing a kiss upon Albedo the Pleiades were reminded of their position. They were meant to be the guardians’ errand girls and nothing more. The fact that it took seven of them to protect a single floor was a testament to how weak they were. Albedo wondered if the sisters were aware that they were mere cannon fodder who mattered even less to the Supreme Beings than the Floor Guardians.

****

“It appears that you and our master are quite close,” Demiurge said as he and Albedo made their way to the eight floor.

While they could easily teleport or open a portal to the eighth floor, the guardians opted to take the long way as they had much to discuss. For the first time, Albedo could move about the tomb without waiting for a direct order from a Supreme Being. Albedo rarely spent much time outside of the throne room. She was a bit overwhelmed. Her duty was to serve as head administrator and oversee everything from the tomb’s finances to torturing prisoners of war. Albedo was no longer a doll with no purpose. She was now the second most important person in all of Nazarick.

“I love Him. There is nothing I desire more than to be his wife. I have no doubt that he will be an excellent lover. He may be a human but he will always be my beloved. We are destined to be together for all eternity!” Albedo gushed. Lord Momonga’s human form did have a strange sort of appeal. Those innocent brown eyes, those red lips, and hair the color of the richest chocolates. Albedo had no doubt that he was well endowed. She wanted nothing more than for Him to absolutely ruin her for any other man when he did the honor of deflowering her.

“I can think of no one more suited to be his bride. All I ask is that you allow me the honor of walking you down the aisle,” Demiurge said.

“But of course! I have no doubt He will want you to be His best man as well. Oh, I have an idea. You can be our consort! There is no one else worthy of sharing our bed. Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you looked at him.”

Despite being a succubus, Albedo was a virgin. Another lovely contrast courtesy of Lord Tabula. Demiurge's creator had been set on making the demon lord as deviant as possible. Albedo knew his sexual experience easily outclassed anyone in Nazarick. She could stand to learn a great deal about pleasure from him.

“You can hardly blame me. No matter what form He takes, our Lord's glory shines through. It would be an honor to assist you with giving Him pleasure. However, I must ask that you refrain from any sexual activity at this point in time.”

“WHY?!”  
Albedo’s arm shot out and wrapped around Demiurge’s throat. She slammed him into the wall. Traitorous bastard! How dare this worm deny her the right to make love to her precious master. Albedo would rend Demiurge limb from limb and feed his intestines to Kyouhukou’s children. His diamond eyes would make an excellent engagement ring.

“Getting a bit ahead of ourselves are we? Do calm down, my dear. Did it not occur to you that a human might not survive mating with a succubus? You might very well suck his soul out through his family jewels,” Demirge said.

“Let it be known that if you lay with him before I do, I will rip off your tail and and use it to castrate you.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST OFF BLANKET WARNING FOR SUICIDE MENTIONS
> 
> Guess who moved to China? Guess who said fuck it and just moved across the world? It's me! Para moved to China! Because REASONS. GOOD REASONS
> 
> But the good news is that a new home has meant new inspiration. And that means this chapter was completely rewritten from the ground up cuz Ainz was soundin like an asshole and I might have been projecting. So yeah. Also does anyone ever read these long af author notes?? 
> 
> Anyway, the amount of support and love for this fic has been nothing short of jaw dropping. I didnt expect this to go past 100 hits as it was a super small fandom. I expected to do a chapter and then maybe orphan it in a few months due to lack of response. Instead here we are 700 hits in 2 weeks and I have to figure out some semblance of a plot...Anyway I really, really like all the comments and kudos as they are heartwarming. Fic writing is really fun for me and since I decided to fuck off to a new country I might not update as quickly as people expect. 
> 
> Terribly sorry
> 
> (seriously who reads these...)

By the twenty-second century, Earth’s soil was so polluted that crops could only grow in privately owned biodomes.. Most animals were extinct due to depletion of grasslands. The only sea life that survived was algae in the form of permanent red tide. Synthetic foods such as lab grown meat and dairy protein products were ridiculously overpriced. As a result Satoru Suzuki had never eaten real food. 

Satoru relied on his pills, vitamins, and supplements to provide the necessary nutrition to keep his body functional. He often weighed the pros and cons of letting himself starve to death. All he had to do was stop eating and drinking for three days and he’d die the clean, quiet death that he wished for but was unlikely to get. He wasn’t living, he was surviving. The only reason he crawled out of bed was to earn an income that kept the lights on long enough for hour long sessions of YGGDRASIL. The DMMORPG and his guild members were the only thing that made life worth living. When the announcement that the servers were shutting down came Satoru felt that whatever god existed was giving him the proverbial middle finger. 

That god then proceeded to throw him a bone by transporting him from the real world into YGGDRASIL. Transforming from his avatar into his actual human form was a small price to pay. This wasn’t the same as being reunited with his friends but it was close enough. A very, very small voice in the back of his head questioned if he was already starving himself and this was nothing but a dying dream as he lay alone in his bed. For now he was going to enjoy all this brave, new world had to offer and that included having a real meal. 

The guild of Ainz Ooal Gown designed the ninth floor of the Great Tomb of Nazarick to be a recreational wonderland. There were spas, bars, restaurants, and salons spread throughout the floor for the players personal use. Similar to the NPCs, those buildings became real and fully functional. Satoru could live a life of luxury without ever leaving the ninth floor. He had the perfect opportunity to sit on his throne, Albedo and Demiurge in his lap, and live like a king without ever leaving. Tempting as it was to lie back and reap the benefits he knew that the key to any successful RPG playthrough was exploring your surroundings. He wouldn’t be able to progress if he locked himself away in his homebase. First he’d eat, then convene with the guardians, and figure out the correct course of action. 

Naberal and Shizu flanked him on either side as he sat at the dining room table in his private quarters. Both of the battle maids were strong, silent type. It was oddly comforting. Usually Satoru’s face to face interactions were limited to his workplace. Those brief moments when someone greeted him or acknowledged his presence were few and far between. His coworkers tended to only speak with him when they wanted to commiserate with him about the struggles of factory life. Other than that, work was a quiet affair with only the hum of the machinery to get them through the day. He wasn’t sure what he would say to the battle maids but it was nice to not be alone anymore. Their mere presence warmed his heart. Although they viewed him as a god, Satoru felt more protected than powerful. Eventually he was going to have to act the part of a Supreme Being like everyone expected him to. What was that ancient saying Tigris Euphrates was fond of? Fake it til you make it?

A knock on his door signaled that his lunch had finally arrived. Narberal and Shizu adopted a defensive stance. 

“State your name and business,” Narberal declared.

“Melody De Grace. I am a humble maid bringing sustenance for the Supreme One, Lord Momonga. Long may he reign over us.”

“Enter!”

Melody came in pushing a cart filled with all sorts of food and drink. Melody was obviously one of Coup de Grace’s creations. She was blonde like the other homunculus maids. What set her apart was her mismatched eye colors and towering figure. CDG liked tall girls with heterochromia, Satoru’s former guildmate considered all his creations to be his personal harem of waifus. It appeared that Melody had taken on what she assumed was CDG’s surname. Whenever Satoru felt bad about holding a candle for Albedo and Demiurge he would remind himself of things like an NPC tailor made to satisfy their creator’s fetishes. 

“Lord Momonga, Sous Chef and Head Chef along with the entire kitchen staff send their deepest regards. We are honored to serve you. Thank you for gracing us with your presence oh merciful Supreme One. We hope that this humble offering pleases you, master,” Melody said. Her voice was a song and her gratitude was heartbreaking. 

“Thank you, Melody. I appreciate all the work you’ve done on such short notice You have my gratitude. I look forward to seeing what sort of culinary delights our illustrious chefs have created,” Satoru said. 

What he expected was for the maid to serve him his food and be on her way. What he did not expect was for Melody to collapse into a fit of tears. How in the hell had Coup programmed her? Did he have a crying kink to?

“ I am not worthy of such praise! Truly we are blessed to have a master as kind as you. Thank you for not abandoning us. Nazarick would fall without your guidance, my lord. We will always serve you without fail, Lord Momonga-” Melody cried.

“Enough! Cease your pathetic blubbering this instant! How dare you prolong the master’s hunger with your incessant yammering. Get a hold of yourself,” Narberal snarled.

Satoru raised a hand, the women fell silent. He was going to have to get used to it. He needed to be a kind boss while also asserting his authority over women who could kill him with a chopstick. 

“Of course I know your name. You are the ch-creation of one of my dearest friends. It pleases me greatly to see the beautiful woman you have become. I apologize for Narberal. Narberal, I am the one who gives the order. These are my quarters and I dictate what is and isn’t appropriate. Now if you both are quite done, I am rather famished,” Satoru said.

Melody laid out a spread fit for a king. In YGGDRASIL food items were used for everything from healing to cosmetic gifts. Whether the foods were actual representations of things that actually existed or not was a source of debate among players. Certain food items such as rice and tea were believed to be real as there was mention of them in various texts throughout history. Blue milk and pancakes were more questionable. The chefs in Nazarick were programmed with thousands of recipes from various cultures and time periods.. Satoru wasn’t sure what foods he liked best so he asked the kitchens to provide him with a selection of some of his country's best dishes’. He wanted to eat like his ancestors who may or may not have been responsible for turning the planet into a wasteland. 

“As an appetizer we have provided a daikon salad with a plate of tsukemono pickles. For the main course we have kitsune udon, sukiyaki, and miso soup served over rice. For dessert there is a selection of mochi, daifuku, and mizu yokan,” Melody said. She was a bit shaken up but put on a brave, professional face. 

The food smelt like heaven and looked like salvation. Did the rich really eat like this every night? Were these really delicacies that his ancestors ate before the world destroyed itself? The mere sight of this would have been enough to give him pleasant dreams for the rest of his life. To think he could have this whenever he wanted! Satoru didn’t realize he was drolling til he saw a bead of saliva fall onto a cucumber. His stomach growled in protest as it yearned for something that didn’t come from a pill bottle.

“You are dismissed. Let all who you encounter know that you have pleased me greatly.”

“Thank you, my lord.” With a bow she excused herself and pushed the cart back out. When the door closed Satoru heard her crying what were hopefully tears of joy. He picked up his chopsticks and fumbled with them before getting them into what he hoped was the right position. He never needed eating utensils before. 

“Lord Momonga, please allow me to check your food for poisons.” Narberal was really determined not to let him eat in peace. Satoru was familiar with the concept of royalty having official food tasters to ward off any assassination plots. Narbera l was right to be cautious. If this was how he died then so be it. No way was he going to let someone taste his first real meal before he did.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” he said dismissively. He maneuvered the chopsticks well enough to grab a pickle. The vegetable looked cold, slimy, and a bit unappealing. It was so green, a color Satoru associated with sewage but his ancestors might have associated with nature. He took a deep breath, took a cautious bite. The pickle was complete sensory overload. Cold like acid rain, bitter like salt, and sweet as a piece of candy he once found on the sidewalk. The crunchiness was an odd sensation as his teeth weren’t used to having to bite down so hard. His throat, long accustomed to swallowing up to three pills at once, struggled to swallow down the pickle. Goodness, eating food was quite the ordeal. 

“How does it taste, master?” Narberal asked eyeing the pickles suspiciously.

“Good. It tastes good.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *inhales*
> 
> THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND KUDOS AND SUBS AND BOOKMARKS AND COMMENTS I NEVER EXPECTED THIS HOLY SHIT!
> 
> I will answer my latest comments soon. So the delay was because of things like um well
> 
> Me: *chilling*  
Chinese Govt: Your visa expires in 3 days  
Me: k  
Chinese Govt:...bitch we will deport you.
> 
> So that was how December was spent. Getting all my shit legal so I can stay here and yay for once I make a living wage and have my own place. Which is wild. Also its Christmas. *Jean Ralphio voice* Ya girl is all alone and lowkey depressed~
> 
> Now I get to stay in China and try to get my shit together. I have been listening to Joan Jett's cover of Love Is All Around daily. Okay seriously who the hell reads these notes I swear to g-
> 
> Anyway, so this chapter was spent trying to show Satoru's ties with his old guild and try to give narrative weight for why he misses/admired them because it only makes sense for him to miss them if they played significant roles in his life and what made him the person he is today. Oh and big thanks for everyone who left info and suggestions on malnutrition last chapter as it was helpful
> 
> Comments are appreciated. 
> 
> Merry Christmas

Satoru was halfway through his bowl of udon when he decided it was time to concede defeat. His stomach was full to the point of bursting. He supposed that the slight pain in his gut was perfectly normal. Satoru remembered Touch Me once saying something about having “eyes bigger than his stomach” when he recounted a dinner with his in laws. In the guild of Ainz Ooal Gown, Touch Me was the richest person IRL and was able to eat real food on a daily basis. Touch Me owned his own biodome and often told stories of tending his garden or picking fruit from his orchard. He frequently had lavish dinner parties with his fellow diplomats. 

Satoru secretly envied Touch Me’s wealth and status but could never bring himself to fully hate him. Touch Me had the good fortune to be born into a comfortable lifestyle. He inherited his home, wealth, and government position from his mother. He was happily married to his childhood friend and had a daughter he adored. Touch Me was the most well adjusted and successful member of the guild.

Perhaps that was why he was the first to leave.

Satoru wondered how Touch Me would have reacted to the current situation. He liked to think Touch Me would have taken things harder and found it difficult to leave his idyllic life behind. Touch Me had something to lose, people who loved him. Maybe Satoru was chosen for no other reason then that his ties to the real world were negligible. 

“Shizu, please clear the table for me. Narberal, follow me to the closet. I want your opinion on what outfit I should wear,” Satoru said. After he collapsed on the throne wearing the giant robes of his avatar, Albedo and Neuronist stripped him down to the hoodie and sweatpants he wore beneath. Satoru really wished he hadn’t been unconscious for that part. 

Narberal followed close behind him as he went to the massive walk in closet. Satoru was a bit of what ancient psychologists described as a hoarder. During his time on YGGDRASIL, he collected numerous items ranging from rare and powerful to useless login bonuses. Clothing and armor were among the many things he stored in his inventory for no other reason than the fact that collecting things in the game helped fill the void in his heart. When you lived in a 22 square meter apartment and spent most of your paycheck on your gaming addiction, you didn’t have a lot of space or money for material possessions. Most the accumulated armors and outfits looked notably impressive and intimidating. They also didn’t look like they would fit his scrawny frame. Even if he did manage to slip into a suit of armor he wasn’t strong enough to move around in it. The best idea was to stick to the closest thing YGGDRASIL had to normal clothes. His choices were narrowed down to a handful of outfits that had been sold as promotional materials for an otome game Bukubuku Chagama starred in. 

“What do you think, Naberal?” Satoru asked, pointing to a fancy high school uniform. The blazer might have been a bit big on him. He also didn’t know how to tie a tie. 

“In all due respect, that outfit is too juvenile for a Supreme Being such as yourself,” Narberal replied. True. He hadn’t been in high school for what felt like ages. Satoru had been a first year when YGGDRASIL first came out. An upperclassman he had a crush on was obsessed with it and Satoru initially signed up with the hopes it would bring them closer together. By the time Satoru finished clearing the tutorial, the upperclassmen had already moved on to another DMMORPG. If he never crossed paths with Touch Me, Satoru might have done the same. Satoru wondered if either that upperclassman or Touch Me still remembered him.

“What about this? Does it look intimidating?” Satoru was holding a pair of the leather pants worn by the otome’s bad boy love interest. It had three sets of belt loops for the myriad of skinny red belts that went with it. He was sure he could find the matching spiked wristbands and choker if he looked hard enough.

“I hope the beast did not suffer when it was slain to make that abominable garment,” she replied.

“I’m going to take that as a hard no.” Narberal had rejected the perky student council president and tsundere bad boy outfits which left him with few options. The clothes he chose for his first meeting with the Guardians would determine how the citizens of Nazarick perceived him going forward. Additionally he needed to determine what type of public persona he would adopt. As strange as it seemed the NPCs viewed him as a strange mix of king and god. They looked at him with the same awe and wonder as helpless noobs who dared challenge the highest ranked guild in YGGDRASIL. Satoru finally settled on clothing that suited his new position: a red and black western style suit, the outfit worn by the sadistic megane whose good ending that Satoru had failed time and time again to unlock.

“Does this meet your standards Narberal or am I fighting a losing battle?” Satoru asked.

“There is no doubt within my mind that you would be victorious in any battle, Lord Momonga. I find that those garments befit a being of your stature,” Narberal said.

The video game character it was based off of was a good ten to fifteen centimeters taller than Satoru so the fit wasn’t as comfortable as he hoped. Nazarick likely had a tailor or two around but he didn’t want to keep the Guardians waiting for too long. 

“I supposed I should get changed now,” Satoru said.

“Shall I help you get dressed, my lord?” Narberal asked.

The idea of a beautiful woman stripping and dressing him was too good to pass up. He could probably even convince one of the Pleiades to give him a bath in the hot spring. Narberal was so serious and stoic that Satoru knew having her assist him wouldn’t lead to anything straight out of a hentai. He wasn’t sure rather he should feel relieved or disappointed. Albedo was going to have to give Satoru a briefing on the organizational structure of Nazarick to find out who it was appropriate for him to sleep with. He would never abuse his power to force someone into a non consensual relationship. He just wanted to know his options.

“Alright, Naberal. Dress me for success.” 

Narberal gave a short nod. As she pulled Satoru’s sweater over his head, he remembered his mother helping him get dressed for school. His mother was insistent that he got an education no matter how limited it was. Most adults only received a primary school education to gain the basic literacy needed for most manual labor jobs. Satoru had been a bit of an overachiever as he was part of the 15% of Japan’s population that graduated high school. Every university in the country was owned by one of the Big Eight megacorporations meaning their tuition prices were inflated to the point that post secondary education was reserved for the elite. Naturally Touch Me earned a master’s degree in Political Science while Bukubuku Chagama had a bachelor’s degree in Classic Literature. The game company Bukubuku Chagama worked for had funded her education as a way to enhance her skills as a voice actress. She regularly read poems, plays, and books that people like Satoru never had access to. On more than one occasion Satoru had private messaged her between raids so she would read Shakespeare to him. She brought the characters to life so well that Satoru felt guilty for not being able to pay her. She always claimed it was good practice for future projects. Bukubuku Chagama spent hours consoling him after the ending of Romeo and Juliet. It was a shame to think that most people would never be able to read the greatest love story ever known. 

“My lord...Are you alright? You appear to be emaciated.” Narberal was staring at his naked torso with great concern. Satoru knew he wasn’t as muscular as some of the NPCs but he didn’t think it was a big deal. 

“I don’t work out much,” Satoru said with a shrug. Narberal continued to stare at him in disbelief.

“Lord Momonga, I can see the outline of your rib cage. Shall I bring in more sustenance? You need your strength. I could have the kitchen prepare a second course immediately,” Narberal said. Satoru’s stomach growled in protest. The mere mention of food made him feel like he was going to vomit. He was so full he probably wouldn’t need to eat real food for a few days. 

“That won’t be necessary. The meeting with the Guardians takes precedence.”

Narberal put on the dress shirt and vest without comment. She looked worried but Satoru didn’t want to think about it too much. She likely had never seen a naked man before. Of course she hadn’t, YGGDRASIL wasn’t that type of game. 

“May I remove your pants, Master?” For what wasn’t the first time Satoru was questioning if he hadn’t in fact died and gone to heaven. He nodded as he didn’t trust himself to speak. Satoru needed to think the unsexiest thoughts possible to keep from getting too excited. How on Earth was he going to survive a meeting with Albedo and Demiurge if the mere thought of physical contact with another person was enough to give him an erection? 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Para: *screaming in poptart*  
Summary of what happened to me between now and the last update
> 
> Job: Ya Fired  
Me: Wha-  
China: Coronavirus means everything is shutdown. Try not to die  
Me: Huh  
Job and China: We're cancelling all your visas
> 
> So...I was preoccupied with that. I have a new job that hopefully I start in a few weeks. I am still in China. Things are calming down and reverting to normal. But yes the first two months of 2020 have not been kind. Also I write slow and we are both in two different time zones. Our writer dynamic is best summed up as Michael McDonald and Faye Dunaway. ( I will leave it you to figure out what tf that means.) Anyway Vixen was a huge help with some of the later scenes in this chapter as she wrote all the spicy stuff because my strength is dialogue not smoochy, smoochy steamy, steamy. I will be replying to the old comments. I try to reply in correspondence with new chapter so sorry if it seems like I'm ignoring you. As allways comments are appreciated. Thank you to all who have kudo'ed, subbed, bookmarked, and commented as it makes my heart sing.
> 
> (Albedo is the hardest bitch to write POV for. This chapter literally got scrapped twice before it worked!!!)
> 
> Vixen: enjoy me upping this rating

A Supreme Being is never late. A Supreme Being comes and goes as they please. These were truths Albedo recited to herself during the years she stood in stasis waiting for someone to ascend the throne. Their divine creators perceived time in such a way that days passed like seconds, months passed in the blink of an eye. From Albedo’s limited perspective, Lord Momonga was due to arrive over an hour ago. She chided herself for being so presumptuous to question her lover’s actions. He was obviously testing their patience and resilience. After years without gazing at His glorious form, surely Albedo could stand to wait a few hours more. Albedo may have been resolute in her decision to wait until the end of time if necessary, but some of the Guardians were beginning to grow impatient.

“Are. You. Certain. That. Our. Lord. Does. Not. Require. Aid?” Cocytus asked for the third time.

“Narberal and Shizu are assisting him. I instructed them to immediately contact me if there were any issues,” Albedo answered for the third time. The insectoid Fifth Floor Guardian outmatched her in sheer strength which was the only reason Albedo hadn’t cracked his exoskeleton open like a lobster. Cocytus was created to be strong, not smart. He was as single minded as Entoma was childish, Albedo attributed it to their insect nature and resisted the urge to dismiss him back to his quarters before Lord Momonga arrived. 

“I have no doubt that Lord Momonga is being fashionably late,” the bloodsucking, flat chested whore chimed in. 

“What. Do. You. Mean. By. That. Shalltear?” Cocytus asked. 

Shalltear puffed her nonexistent chest out and continued in that annoying whine of hers.

“His Lordship merely wants to keep us on our toes. I can’t say I blame Him for wanting to make an entrance. It’s been ages since we were able to lay our eyes on His immense beauty. Oh the thought of his glimmering skeletal form. That rib cage, those phalanges! What I wouldn’t give to gaze upon the pale, pristine coloring of His humeri and bear witness to the strength contained within them,” Shalltear moaned. How dare that impudent leech think that for a single moment Albedo’s precious Lord Momonga would give her more than a quick glance before turning away in disgust.

Shalltear’s head was so far up her ass that she didn’t notice the uneasy look that Albedo and Demiurge shared between them. All who had seen Lord Momonga’s human form were sworn to secrecy unless they wished to face the combined wrath of the Guardian Overseer and the Defensive Combat Leader of Nazarick. The homunculus maid who served His Lordship was more than happy to keep her mouth shut, keeping such a precious secret was the best way for Melody to prove her loyalty. Mare told Aura before Demiurge could intervene. Mare was too meek to speak freely with anyone outside of the Floor Guardians and Aura thrived on keeping things from Shalltear. Convincing Neuronist not to spread gossip was slightly more difficult. Threatening a touch starved masochist like Neuronist wasn’t an experience Albedo wanted to relive anytime soon. 

The bug and the lamprey were the only Floor Guardians unaware of the truth. Out of the two, Shalltear posed the greatest threat. If that slutty corpse chose not to swear fealty, Albedo would have no choice but to strike her down. If the other guardians rallied behind Shalltear, Albedo might have to destroy Nazarick itself in order to protect Lord Momonga. In an ideal situation every denizen of the tomb would bend the knee and swear fealty to the only Supreme Being kind enough to remain with them. In an ideal situation they wouldn’t have been left to languish in stasis for years as their creators abandoned them. 

Albedo knew that a long, difficult road laid before her. As the Guardian Overseer she needed to remain steadfast and dedicated in order to be the shining pillar of devotion that all of Nazarick could look to when it came to serving Lord Momonga. 

<Lady Albedo, I have an update,> came Narberal’s voice in Albedo’s ear. The battle maid was contacting her through a communication spell that allowed them to converse discreetly. 

<Speak. What is the status of our glorious Master?> Albedo asked quietly. Shalltear was cackling loud enough to distract the others. 

<Lord Momonga has been dressed in clothing befitting His status. We are walking down the corridor to the Throne Room. We shall arrive in exactly three minutes and fifteen seconds.> Narberal said.

<Well done, Narberal. I expect a full report on Lord Momonga’s physical state after the meeting.>

<Understood, Lady Albedo.>

Albedo bit down the rush of jealousy she felt at the thought of another woman seeing her lover’s nude form before she got a chance to consummate their relationship. Albedo wanted to gouge out the eyes of any woman who was ever blessed to bear witness to His godly cock. Oh how Albedo longed to have His magnificent member buried deep within her. Waiting for Him to claim her maidenhood was going to be the sweetest agony. Before Albedo took her rightful place in Lord Momonga’s bed, she needed to carry out her duties as Overseer.

“Silence your idle chatter! In less than a minute the omnipotent Lord Momonga will walk through those doors. Of the exalted Forty-One Supreme Beings, He alone chose to stay with us until the very end. We were created to serve Him, to lay down our lives without hesitation for the Guildmaster of Ainz Ooal Gown. Lord Momonga is our savior. Without Him we are less than nothing. I will say this only once, obey the Supreme Being Lord Momonga or perish,” Albedo bellowed.

“Well said, Albedo. Spoken like a true Overseer,” Demiurge said, smiling wide and clapping gently. Albedo was relieved to have his support, Demiurge was a powerful ally. She hoped that she never had to face him in battle.

“Geez Albedo, no need to get so worked up. We’ll do our best and then some. Just sit back and watch, Lord Momonga will want to stay with us forever and ever,” Aura said. 

“That’s right!” Mare chimed in.

At that moment, the two large doors of the Throne Room flew open. In the doorway stood Shizu looking as stoic as ever. Narberal followed, stepping forward and announcing the arrival of His Greatness. “I present our Supreme Ruler, Lord Momonga!”

The room held its breath as a figure emerged from the shadows.

Lord Momonga strode into the Throne Room wearing a stylish suit of crimson and ebony. His chocolate colored hair was meticulously combed back, His caramel eyes shining triumphantly. Her love was beyond compare, truly Lord Momonga was the most handsome of the Supreme Beings. Her heart soared as he walked past her without a second glance. He only had eyes for the throne that was rightfully His. When He finally took His seat upon the Throne of Kings, Albedo resisted the urge to squeal with delight. She glanced over at Demiurge who was blushing harder than she was. Albedo could tell by the way his tail quivered he was restraining it from flailing with excitement. It was finally happening! This would be the dawn of a new era in Nazarick with Albedo and Demiurge as Lord Momonga’s left and right hands.

“Narberal and Shizu, you are dismissed. Return to your duties guarding the tenth floor. Thank you for your service,” Lord Momonga said. 

The battle maids excused themselves. Albedo would have much to discuss with them later. Narberal was doing wonders proving where her loyalties lied. Winning the support of the Pleiades was crucial to maintaining order within Nazarick’s ranks in the coming days. Albedo needed eyes and ears in every single corner of the tomb. This was her domain and she wanted no one to question the authority of the Guardian Overseer. 

“Now my Floor Guardians, it has come time to pledge your allegiance to your master. I, Momonga, Guild Master of Ainz Ooal Gown, now and forever, shall be the Supreme Ruler of the Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick. I expect nothing less than your undying loyalty and unwavering devotion from this point on,” Lord Momonga bellowed. Albedo felt a warm sensation spread throughout her at the sound of his command. The weight of his authority pressed down on her in the gentlest caress. Despite his human form, Lord Momonga was still the impressive Overlord Lich she fell in love with.

Not wanting to give any of the others a moment to think otherwise, Albedo threw herself to the floor, bowing low over her knee to show her fealty. She was the one most devoted, and she would be the standard by which all others should strive in the eyes of the great Lord Momonga.”

“As Overseer of the Floor Guardians, I, Albedo, pledge to serve you for all my life. I will follow you to the ends of this world. I will be your faithful servant and dutiful wife,” Albedo purred. She had one hand over her heart as she spoke. Albedo wanted to reach out and touch Him so he understood the sincerity of her vow. 

“Shalltear Bloodfallen, guardian of the First, Second, and Third Floors submits to the power and might of Lord Momonga,” Shalltear said in a clipped tone, barely containing the shock on her face from seeing His now human form. Bitch. Lecherous slut was likely disappointed Lord Momonga was no longer skeletal. Of course the vampire was a necrophiliac. Lord Peroroncino was truly a depraved Birdman. May He rot within the depths of the Second Circle of Hell.

The rest of those gathered turned to Cocyutus, but he did not hesitate to bow respectfully, nor did he ask any rude questions. “Cocytus. Fifth Floor Guardian. I. Serve. The. Supreme. One. Lord. Momonga. I. Will. Be. Your. Sword. And. Shield. Against. All. Threats,” he intoned. 

The twins jumped forward next, excited at all the sudden activity in the once quiet tomb. “Guardian of the Sixth Floor Aura Bella Fiora at your service Lord Momonga. I’ll do my best to bring you honor, glory, and all that good stuff!”

“I...I’ll help too. Guardian of the Sixth Floor Mare Bello Fiore is also at your service.”

Lastly, Demiurge bowed low, the deep respect and devotion rolling off of him pleased Albedo as much as it had jealousy clawing at her chest. She wanted to be the one most obvious in her deference, but if anyone should be a close second, she supposed the fellow demon was not a bad choice. “Demiurge, Defensive Leader of Nazarick and Guardian of the Seventh Floor is at your command. I eagerly await your orders, Master.” 

“Excellent. Let us begin the meeting. Albedo, what did Solution and Sebas report? Have we truly been transported to a new realm?” Lord Momonga asked. Was there anything sweeter than His voice saying her name? Soon she would make Him scream it in ecstasy.

“Yes, my Lord. Nazarick now sits in secluded grasslands. The area appears to be isolated as no human, monster, or animal life forces were detected within ten miles. I suggest that we widen our scope of search to confirm that there are no nearby human settlements as the Great Tomb of Nazarick lies exposed. Furthermore, we have no indication of the forces that have brought us to this realm,” Albedo said.

“Interesting. I assume we’re fully exposed in our current state.” Lord Momonga gripped at the arm rests of the throne, likely trying to contain his bloodthirsty need to kill everything nearby. She could relate to such sentiments.

“Yes, my Lord.” Oh, how she hoped to see him on a rampage up close and in person.

“That simply won’t do. Mare, I want you to use your elemental abilities to conceal Nazarick. It would be best if you create several hills and valleys in this area for maximum cover. We cannot allow ourselves to be discovered as of yet.”

Albedo barely contained a dreamy sigh. Of course he prioritized the safety of the tomb before his own desire to defeat and conquer. That was what made him truly infallible.

“Yes, sir!” Mare squeaked. “I can do that!”

“Of that I have no doubt.”

Mare blushed, sporting a shy little smile over the compliment.

“I’m sure you all have questions about my...current appearance,” Lord Momonga said, his eyes scanning all those gathered before him.

Nobody said a word in response to that. Albedo was glad, for she would have had to eviscerate anyone who did, and that would have weakened their defenses.

“Never forget it was I who remained with you until the bitter end, regardless of the cost. Make no mistake, though this body is weak, my will is absolute. You shall be my tools as I carve out a place for us in this new world. The moment you speak a word against me, I will cut out your tongue myself. Now, go! Return to your floors until I have need of you. Albedo and Demiurge are to remain with me in the Throne Room as we strategize our next moves.” 

Albedo was positively dripping at this point. She was panting heavily, and her face was flushed. He was everything she ever dreamed of. Cold with a hint of cruelty. How could she have ever doubted him? He wouldn’t allow his weak human body to prevent him from taking this land for his own. A true leader who demanded nothing less than absolute obedience. She couldn’t wait to bear his children. Demiurge was going to be the best godfather to their hundreds of heirs. 

The other guardians began to exit the throne room. Aura was gently reassuring Mare that he was going to do an excellent job concealing the tomb. Shalltear was pouting for some reason that Albedo didn’t give a damn about. Cocytus hesitated as if he wanted to say something when Demiurge shot him a pointed look. He thought better of it and trailed after Shalltear. Yes, Albedo was going to have to keep a close eye on those two. 

“Well, that was nerve wracking,” Lord Momonga sighed and slouched in the throne. He looked absolutely exhausted. Poor thing. Heavy is the head that wears the crown indeed. Albedo rushed to his side. 

“You did excellently, my Lord. Your speech was eloquent as always. I was truly moved by it,” Albedo said. She wormed her way closer to him, settling into his lap and petting her hands over him to sooth him with her soft, luscious skin that she took great pride in maintaining for exactly this reason.

“Eloquent? More like ignorant. I have no idea what I’m doing. Not to mention my head and stomach hurt like hell.” He winced, raising one hand to rub at his temple, the other hand—much to Albedo’s delight—settling on her thigh.

“Oh, dear? Is there anything I can do to soothe your pain? Do you need me to contact Neuronist? Do you need to lie down? Are you dehydrated? Your forehead feels warm. Does he feel warm, Demiurge?”

“Hmm…” Demiurge moved to sit on the arm of the throne and place his hands carefully upon their Lord’s forehead and neck. Albedo pushed her hands beneath the collar of Lord Momonga’s shirt to see if he felt flushed or clammy anywhere else — or to feel for any parasitic lesions. She didn’t find any, though she did notice Lord Momonga’s cheeks tinting pink, causing her greater worry.

“He feels fine to me,” Demiurge said.

“You live in a burning hellscape. You have no concept of warmth,” Albedo scolded, far too concerned about how to keep her Lord healthy in this new fragile body to be so dismissive about his health.

“I’ll have you know that I am well versed in the human body,” Demiurge returned, nose lifted in mild affront. “He is not running a fever. The only person who's hot under the collar is you.”

“How dare you!” Albedo hissed, though she pressed herself closer, allowing her ample chest to entice happier thoughts for her love. “Don’t think I didn’t see that erection you’ve been sporting since Lord Momonga walked in.”

Demiurge’s shoulders stiffened, though he did not argue. Likely, he was willing to wait and see what kind of reaction Lord Momonga would have to that information. Albedo was also waiting on a response, but she was used to waiting. How dare Demiurge expect a response to his affection before her! They traded scalding glares with one another.

“Guys, guys. Can you not have a screaming match in my ears, please?” Lord Momonga pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes shut, as he took a steadying breath.

“Deepest apologies, master. I didn’t mean to—”

“My love, I can not apologize enough for our—”

“Enough!” He sighed and dropped his head back against the throne. “You want to make me feel better?”

“More than anything!” Albedo cried, unashamed at how close she was to drooling the words out.

“H-how about a...kiss?” He would not look either of them in the eye as he cleared his throat and squared his shoulders. “Kissing helps, uh, boost the human immune system. The exchange of saliva helps transfer nutrients.”

If anyone expected Albedo to not move with lightning speed to press their mouths together, they did not know her at all. Lord Momonga let out a startled, muffled noise, but he relaxed into the kiss immediately. He was tender and soft in a way that contrasted his hard cruelty, allowing Albedo to control their lips and take as much as she liked. She moaned as she licked at him, teasing his lips open to taste the sweetness of his mouth.

This kind of kiss, it was something to be cherished. As much as she loved Lord Momonga’s true form, this was not something she would have experienced from mere bone. Oh, how she loved all that he could offer in any shape he may choose to take on. She ground her mound against his knee in a frenzy, consumed both by lust and an overwhelming sweetness she never thought to encounter.

She only pulled back upon noticing his labored breathing. They parted to stare into one another’s eyes, both dazed and floating on their kiss. Lord Momonga took her in from hair to breasts with such adoration that she ached to ride him until she was surely with child right there in the Throne Room.

“You’re an angel,” he breathed.

Albedo smirked, a chuckle bubbling in the back of her throat. “I’m a succubus, darling,” she purred.

Their moment was interrupted by a clearing throat. They turned to find Demiurge watching them both with great intensity, his diamond eyes glimmering. “Lord Momonga...is it possible that this exchange of saliva is equally effective between two men?”

Albedo arched one eyebrow, but she had gotten the first kiss, so that certainly made her superior. Not to mention, she was concerned for her Lord’s health, so she would allow Demiurge to impede upon their moment.

“I suppose there’s only one way to find out,” Lord Momonga murmured, eyes lighting up with anticipation.

Demiurge went so far as to gently cup the back of his master’s head before leaning down and bringing their lips together. He worked slower, guiding them through gentle and chaste and blooming steadily into something heavy and filthy. Demiurge was careful but hard, causing their Lord to shiver moan deep in his chest. By the time they separated, Lord Momonga’s lips were puffy and pink, shining with saliva.

Lord Momonga huffed a noise that did not quite form into a coherent word. Demiurge smirked, pleased with himself. Albedo snuggled further into Lord Momonga’s chest, encouraging thin arms to wrap around her shoulders. She exchanged a pleased look with Demiurge for all they had done to service their Lord.

Finding his voice once more, Lord Momonga said, “I do believe that the three of us are going to have a lot of fun running Nazarick together.” 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhh. Hi. It's me. Where do I even start. So this fic blew up far more than I ever expected and I am absolutely floored by the response. Floored I tell you. When I decided to start writing this I expected maybe a thousand hits if I got lucky. This was just a fun side project to do before I shipped off to China. 
> 
> AND DEAR LORD THE THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED SINCE I DECIDED IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO MOVE HALFWAY ACROSS THE WORLD FIVE SECONDS BEFORE A PANDEMIC.
> 
> But yes, for the people who actually read these (seriously who in the fuck reads these goddamn notes I don't-) I got a new job and it's kept me very, very, very busy. I have been working on this chapter on and off for months. Only managed to finish because it's the Mid Autumn Festival and I have time off. So life has been good. I mean...all things considered. So yeah I really appreciate all the kudos, subs, comments, and bookmarks. They really have given me a lot of strength during some rough times this year. I hope everyone is well and if I dont respond to comments in a timely way, I ALWAYS READ AND APPRECIATE THEM. (side note someone please tell me how the hell y'all are even finding this fic-)
> 
> Anyway *Thomas Sanders voice* STORY TIME
> 
> So when writing this I had some DEEP thoughts on consent, sexual attraction, and that awkward moment when you wonder about the availability of live action porn in a dystopia. As a Lich Momo always seemed conflicted on responding to Albedo's advances. Without the emotion limiter and the fact that he likely hasnt had actual physical contact in YEARS, I feel its more likely they would ya know....make some Succubabies eventually. But rn Momo is trying to figure out how all this falls into place. Hence the reating being bumped because of implied masturbation funtimes. Because dudes IRL already out here simping for Albedo (it's me. I'm dudes). Anyway comments are always appreciated AND THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT.

Satoru was having a good dream. He was transported to another world like something out of Bukubukuchagama’s eroge games. The NPCs he and his friends created worshipped him as a god emperor. Albedo and Demiurge competed for his affections. The battle maids were his personal harem. He had a six pack and an awesome beard. He rode through the countryside on a black bicorn. 

All good things came to an end. He needed to wake up and face reality. YGGDRASIL was gone and so were all his friends. Satoru wasn’t an omnipotent Overlord Lich inside of a magnificent underground palace, he was a factory worker in a cramped apartment who needed to decide whether his life was worth living without the one thing that kept him going for the last decade. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Time to get up and face the air pollution. Satoru noticed that his bed felt a lot softer than usual. He was certain he’d fallen asleep in his gaming chair. His blanket felt thicker and warmer. Satoru had the strangest impression that he was cradled in someone’s arms, an invisible force holding him tight. Obviously, these sensations were of the amazing dream he had. When he finally opened his eyes, Satoru found himself face to face with two gorgeous, milky white breasts. The gods blessed him with perky pink nipples like ripe cherries on a vanilla sundae.

“Good morning, Master,” Albedo said cheerfully. She cradled Satoru’s head closer to her chest. She was lying in his bed completely naked. A naked woman was in his bed. Cuddling him. This must have been heaven.

“Morning,” Satoru squeaked. He was a mixture of confused, frightened, and excited. His nether regions were slowly rising to attention. The prospect of losing his virginity was very tempting. The way Albedo had one of her legs wrapped around his middle certainly wasn’t helping.

“Is something wrong, Lord Momonga?” Albedo asked. Her voice was a seductive purr befitting a succubus.

“Um, yes? No? You’re awful close there, Albedo,” he said. Albedo gently kissed his forehead. She cradled him closer to her chest. For years Satoru yearned for the warm, gentle touch of another. Physical affection was in short supply in the real world. When you needed to wear a hazmat suit whenever you left your district, cradling loved ones wasn’t high on your list of priority. More sexually charged DMMORPGs focused on simulating all the physical interactions that were largely absent in modern society. They were also extremely expensive and Satoru was already hemorrhaging money on YGGDRASIL.

“Is it so wrong to want to stay close to the man I love?” Albedo asked coyly. “I wanted to be here the moment you awoke. I am ready to serve you in anyway you see fit. My body is your plaything. Use me in any way that pleases you.”

One of the wisest things Peroroncino ever taught Satoru was that just because you could fuck someone, didn’t mean you should. Peroroncino often went into long tirades into how nonconsensual sex was perfectly fine in the virtual world but unacceptable and disgusting in the real world.

_“Listen up, Momokins. Nii-sama is about to drop some fresh, hot wisdom on you,” Peroroncino would always begin. Didn’t matter whether he was talking about cunnilingus or helping plan a dungeon raid, Peroroncino viewed himself as the wise master and Satoru the naïve student. _

_“People do all sorts of things when they’re horny. Or drunk. Or starving. One of these days you might find yourself in a tricky situation. Someone’s gonna want to fuck and someone isn’t. The trick is to discuss what you do and don’t want. Remember no means no. Maybe also means no. Now I know what you’re thinking. ‘What if my dick’s hard?’ I’ll let you in a little secret, Momokins. Your dick, heart, and brain all have blood. All three have to be in agreement before anything else,” Peroroncino said. _

_“Oh my gods. Shut the fuck up, Pero. He doesn’t need your shitty dating advice,” Bubukuchagama growled. Her loud, rough voice silencing Peroroncino. _

_“Don’t mind him, Momochi. I’m sure that when the time comes to lose your virginity you will know what to do. Make sure to communicate with your partner and everything will be alright,” she said in that sweet, motherly voice she reserved exclusively for Satoru._

Satoru wished either of them was here to help him handle this. He was being cradled by a succubus who he programmed to fall in love with him. This was obviously a gray area ever in terms of consent. Albedo obviously felt his morning wood against her thighs. He was drawing on every ounce of self-restraint he had so he didn’t start dry humping her like a dog. She might have liked that. A lot.

“I appreciate the offer, Albedo. Really, you have no idea how much. It’s only, um…we don’t know each other very well. You don’t have to do this. I…I may have tampered with your programming a bit. These things you feel for me may or may not be real. Not that I’m telling you how to feel or anything. I mean, I’m flattered. Immensely. I have waited my entire life for this; you have no idea. What I’m trying to say is that even though having sex with you would no doubt be there greatest experience of my life, I don’t think we’re quite at that stage yet,” Satoru said.

“Are you rejecting me? Do you find me repulsive?” Albedo asked tearfully. She sat up in the bed, the sheets falling off to reveal her perfect body. Albedo looked radiant in the dim candlelight. Her pale body glowed as her black wings twitched dejectedly. Those catlike eyes were filled with tears.

“Albedo, you’re beautiful,” he said, adjusting himself to wipe away her tears. Albedo grabbed his hand to caress her cheek. She nuzzled it like a cat. Sexy, sad, and vulnerable. Having sex with her in that moment was inexcusable. Anyone might view this as him taking advantage of someone who was his basically his subordinate. He finally understood why sexual relationships between bosses and secretaries were viewed as taboo.

“Why don’t you want me? Master, I will do whatever it takes to win your favor. Please, tell me what I can do to please you. I wish only to serve you as best as I am able,” Albedo begged.

“Albedo, there are plenty of things you can do that don’t involve my morning wood. I-”

“Morning wood?”

“My raised flag.”

“Master, I don’t understand. There aren’t any flags. Is that what you’re missing. Do flags arouse you? I can sew one immediately in any color or pattern you desire!”

“Really? That’s not the point! Listen, you know that thing leaking what I really hope is precum on your thigh? In my world, we call that morning wood. The more common term is erection.”

“What strange terminology for an erection. Your precum feels delightful. My skin is being moistened by your essence. Truly this is the highest blessing.”

Before Satoru figured out another way to dissuade Albedo from letting him into her heavenly gate, there was a knock upon the door.

“Lord Momonga, are you and Albedo decent? Albedo, I sincerely hope you haven’t forgotten the talk we had yesterday” Demiurge said in a warning tone.

“Mind your own Supreme Beings damned business!” Albedo shrieked.

“We’ll be out in a moment!” Satoru ignored Albedo’s pouting face and bountiful bosom shuffling off to his private bathroom. The bathroom was larger than his apartment had been. In the center of an oasis of gleaming white tiles was a large pool with a small waterfall supplying it was an endless stream of scented water. Satoru vaguely remembered Albedo and Neuronist bathing him in the pool as he drifted in and out of consciousness after he collapsed on the throne. Satoru removed his boxers and carefully waded into the pool.

In centuries past humans enjoyed the luxury of using water to clean themselves before rampant water shortages rendered them too extravagant for the average person. At a certain point sonic showers became a rarity as humanity exhausted their sources of rare earth materials. Cleansing gels became the hygiene solution of the common man. Satoru spent more time than he cared for lathering his body in the thick slime so he could peel away the layers of soot, oil, and grime that covered his body after each agonizing shift.

The pool’s warm water was almost enough for Satoru to take his mind off the naked succubus in his bed and the hundreds of NPCs expecting an Overlord lich to lead them to victory. He was living an otaku’s dream with no idea of what to do next. Obviously, they needed to learn more about this strange new world. Nothing to indicate whether others were transported with him or if he was completely alone. Knowing his luck, Satoru might very well be the only human on the planet. A weak, squishy human with an army of actual monsters at his side. Monsters with no obligation to follow him. Someone with natural leadership ability like Touch Me might view it as a ‘minor inconvenience’. A fellow social outcast like Ulbert would see it as the major clusterfuck it was. Satoru would happily trade the chance to lose his virginity to Albedo for a few moments to seek the guidance of his friends.

“What would Touch Me do?” Satoru sighed. His cock twitched slightly at the mention of his former mentor. No, this was not the time or place to do that. Albedo was a much safer, simpler target. She was less likely to take offense to his wandering mind and idle hands. It wasn’t as if it was the first time she played a starring role in his fantasies. Satoru needed to make this quick after all. He needed to stroke himself to completion before anyone wondered what was taking so long.

Taking himself in hand Satoru thought back to Albedo, her softness, her warmth. She wanted him. She would devour him whole if given the chance. Her beautiful golden eyes that stared at him with unbridled lust. Plump pink lips perfectly willing to give him a good morning blowjob every dawn. Albedo’s cute fangs grazing against his member as she passionately swallowed down every last inch on his manhood. Albedo would waste no time swallowing his essence. She’d definitely thank him for the opportunity. Probably pat his head and call him a good boy afterwards.

Satoru bit his lips as he climaxed. He rejected Albedo only to pleasure himself less than ten minutes later. He reluctantly climbed out of the pool, equal parts ashamed and disgusted at how the crystal clear water had become clouded with evidence of his cowardice.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIVE  
AND I FOUND TIME TO WRITE  
this fic is officially a year old, holy god. and its only 8 chapters. I do apologize for the huge gaps between updates. I write when I have time. And I try to make the chapters a decent length so that the wait is worth it. Also its almost Christmas, this is my second Christmas in China. I've offficially lived here a year and *softly* what the fuck
> 
> OH and yes i do read and love your comments. Thanks again to everyone who patiently awaits for me to add to this little passion project of mine. This chapter deviates abit and is a bit more plot focused. As i didnt want this to just be a romance slowburn OR a retelling of the anime with little difference. I tried to really explore the implications of human Ainz and ALSO to lean heavily into the concept of Alternate Universe. Because i love canon but imo what fun is fic if you dont spice it up.
> 
> so yeah  
(who reads this i dont...i cant...)

Why in the seven hells a bug needed to dwell on the coldest floor was beyond her. As Shalltear trekked through Cocytus’ frozen domain she reminded herself why she had come. Some human imposter was posing as the greatest of the Supreme Beings and that simply could not stand. Shalltear didn’t care what the ape and the imp said, the weakling who sat on the Throne of Kings simply couldn’t be Lord Momonga. True, she could sense the same power emanating from him that each of the Supreme Beings held. She also couldn’t deny that there was something in her core that compelled her to obey his each and every command. Shalltear didn’t know what type of spellcraft that squishy fleshbag was using but she wasn’t going to fall for her. She swore on her beloved PeroPapa’s dildo collection that the usurper was put in the grave where he belonged.

For the good of Nazarick, Shalltear needed to betray both the Guardian Overseer and Defensive Combat Leader. She needed Cocytus. Walking through an icy wasteland in an endless blizzard was a small taste of the utter catastrophe that was to come. Defeating Albedo and Demiurge in a fight was child’s play. Dealing with the fallout on her own was going to be a headache. Opening reaching the inner sanctum Shalltear was greeted by a trio of Frost Virgins. Their pale blue skin and dark blue hair unaffected by the never-ending snow flurries. The stern-faced snow demons served as Cocytus’ personal attendants. With a little more meat on their bones and a lot more sexual experience Shalltear might have considered borrowing them for a few hours. For the moment she was more than satisfied with her curvaceous, experienced vampire brides. 

“Lady Shalltear, to what do we owe the pleasure?” the tallest one Caina asked coolly. Caina’s eyes scanned Shalltear with barely hidden disdain. While the Guardians were primarily loyal to the Fourty-One, their subordinates followed the lead of their respective Floor Guardian. Yet another reason for Shalltear to start gathering allies for her coup.

“Do I need a reason to visit an old friend? I thought Cocytus might want some company. It’s been far too long since the Guardians got together,” Shalltear replied.

“Not since the Great Invasion. Have you come to warn our master of a new threat?”

“Something like that.”

“Very well. Be warned, vampire. No matter what World we reside in, we will follow our glorious general Lord Cocytus before all others,” Caina said.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Now will you let me pass or do you have more posturing to get in?” Shalltear asked, batting her eyelashes. Caina stepped aside slower than Shalltear preferred. No matter. Once Cocytus was on her side then his little ice queens would fall in line. The weak were naturally inclined to follow the strong. Winning Cocytus over was simply a matter or presenting herself as the strongest option.

In the inner sanctum of the Fifth Floor, Cocytus sat in a nest composed of ice shards. The insectoid was sitting crossed legged with his many arms folded in contemplation. Shalltear did not see his halberd but she had no doubt it was close by. Her fellow guardian was either in deep meditation or asleep.

“Sleeping on the job, are we?” Shalltear teased. Cocytus sprung to his feet immediately. His tail reaching out to grab his halberd from the nest. Oh, so he sat on his weapons like eggs? How oddly fitting. Shalltear was reminded of their physical differences. Cocytus was twice her size and three times her weight. Yet in terms of sheer strength she was his superior.

Back when they were little more than mindless dolls this was a minor point of contention between their creators. Warrior Takemikazuchi took issue that the Guardian of the First Three Floors was powerful enough that no invaders stood a chance of venturing further into the tomb. The Supreme Beings discussed how ‘balanced’ Shalltear should be in order to give those foolish enough to infiltrate a fighting chance. To prevent the ideological differences between her beloved PeroPapa and Cocytus’ foolish creator from developing into in fighting, the Supreme Beings held a meeting in the Round Table Room. The real Momonga had served as moderator. Shalltear fondly remembered his gleaming porcelain bones and merciless crimson eyes. As the subject of conversation Shalltear was proudly displayed for all to see. The centerpiece of one of the greatest debates in the history of Nazarick.

_“Why is the vampire so goddamn OP?” Warrior Takemikazuchi had asked, slamming his fists on the table. _

_“Why were you in my sister’s DMs?” Peroroncino fired back._

_“Yo, what?” Genjiro exclaimed. _

_“Here we go,” Yamaiko sighed. _

_“Get it, WT!” Herohero cheered. _

The memory stood as one of the happiest moments in Shalltear’s life. In the end the wise Lord Momonga decided that Cocytus would be ‘buffed’ instead of having Shalltear ‘nerfed.’ Shalltear missed the strange language of the Supreme Beings. She regretted not spending more time learning their unique terminology before they slowly started to abandon Nazarick one by one. All that remained were those left behind. Although Tabula Smegmadina should have done everyone a favor and taken the gorilla with him. Alas, they were all gone away to parts unknown leaving Shalltear with the tedious task of recruiting an insect to her cause,

“Why. Are. You. Here. And. Not. Your. Floor?” Cocytus asked, puffs of icy mist coming from his mouth.

“Nice to see you as well, old friend,” Shalltear replied. She tried and failed to make herself comfortable by sitting on the edge of the nest. The smooth ice causing her to slide off with ease. Shalltear opted to stand as pleading her case was going to be far easier if she didn’t end up in a heap in the snow.

“I. Would. Not. Consider. Us. Friends. We. Are. Merely. Allies.”

Shalltear was almost offended. Almost. She didn’t need a friend. She needed a warrior. Cocytus didn’t need to like her in order to see reason.

“Allies united in a common goal. We were made to protect Nazarick from all threats. I don’t see why we can’t do that together. Demiurge and the gorilla are a bit preoccupied at the moment. We’ll be called on to pick up the slack sooner or later. I don’t see why we can’t start discussing defenses. You know, in case the locals turn out to be not so friendly,” Shalltear said. She pushed her chest out and batted her eyelashes. The noble knight types were always a sucker for a pretty face. Cocytus might have been a literal insect but he was still a man.

“How.Dare.You.Suggest.That.Demiurge.and.Albedo.Are.Negligent.In.Their.Duties.Are.You.So Bold.As.To.Openly.Defy.Them? To.Defy.Lord.Momonga?” Cocytus rose to his full height. A lesser woman might be intimidated by the sheer size of her fellow Guardian. Shalltear reminded herself that any bug could be squashed. The two stared at each other. Cocytus was fuming, great puffs of cold air bellowing out his mouth. His claws twitched as he debated whether to reach for his weapon. Hesitation was certain to be his undoing. Someday. Today Shalltear needed to downplay her inevitable coup and soothe Cocytus’ fury.

“I don’t see what you’re so up in arms about. I was merely suggesting we take a more active role in the tomb’s defenses moving forward. No need to get all huffy about it.”

“Shalltear.What.Are.You.Planning?”

“I’m planning on getting a nice long nap in before midday. The sun is rising outside and it’s past time for my beauty sleep. Ta-ta for now.” Shalltear sauntered out of Cocytus’ resting chamber.

Cocytus let out a sigh of frustration. He had hoped that their second chance at life might be enough to quell Shalltear’s ambitions. Limitless power and an inflated ego were a combination for disaster. Warrior Takemikazuchi-dono once confided in Cocytus that He believed that Shalltear’s volatile, overpowered nature would be a leading cause for the guild’s dissolution. It was only through Lord Momonga’s wise leadership that disaster had been averted. There was no doubt in Cocytus’ mind that Lord Momonga would once again lead them to victory. This New World was destined to bow before the might of Nazarick. The only question was how long that might take. His conversion into a human left Him seemingly weak and powerless. Lord Momonga’s new body was a fragile thing made of paper-thin skin and brittle bone. Was it any wonder that Shalltear viewed Him as prey rather than predator? Dark days were sure to preceded Nazarick’s glorious rebirth.

“This. Does. Not. Bode. Well.” Cocytus said.

“I’ll say. Somebody’s trying to rise above her station~” came an impish voice from above him. Entoma poked her head out from a stalactite. The young battle maid almost looked adorable hanging from the large shard of ice jutting from the ceiling. The fact that she was happily crunching on one of Kyouhukou’s children greatly lessened her cuteness by a considerable amount. She crawled down from the ceiling and into Cocytus’ nest. He shifted to allow her room. Entoma likely wanted to take a nap after devouring substantial part of her subordinate’s family.

“How.Much.Of.That.Did.You.Hear?” Cocytus asked. At this point it hardly mattered how Entoma snuck into his sanctuary undetected. Entoma likely crawled in while the ice maidens were preoccupied by Shalltear. Part of him wondered whether the two were working together. The battlemaids stuck to themselves on principle but it was becoming abundantly clear that many things were about to change.

“I heard enough~ Sounds like someone wants to go up in the ranks. Demi is gonna be soooo upset when he hears about this. I bet Lady Albedo won’t be too happy about this either,” Entoma yawned. She curled into a ball at the base of the nest. The mask made it impossible to tell if her eyes were open or closed.

“Perhaps.It.Is.Best.That.It.Remains.Between.Us.We.Need.More.Time.To.Learn.What.Shalltear. Is.After,” Cocytus wasn’t one to beg. Entoma wasn’t one to negotiate.

“No can do! Demi promised if I brought him valuable intel, I’d get a special treat. I hope it’s someone tasty. Sorry, Cocytus, it’s every bug for herself. Tell you what. I’m going to take a quick little bug nap. Maybe if you tell them first, they won’t get too angry.” Entoma’s body gave a few quick twitches before she lay completely still. She was asleep. Or pretending to be to make Cocytus leave her alone. For the first time in ages, Cocytus wished Takemikazuch-dono had taken him with Him.


End file.
